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Funny Jokes

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mmmmamam dfdsafjn
in Funny Jokes (63 Characters)


Doctor: Youre in good health. Youll live to be eighty.
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you!!!
in Funny Jokes (176 Characters)


Innocent Reply: Kid: TeaCher Can I Go To The BathroOm ? Teacher: (CorreCting him) 'May' I Go To The BathroOm ? Kid: miss But I AsKed 1st .. !
in Funny Jokes (186 Characters)

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
in Funny Jokes (81 Characters)

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
in Funny Jokes (102 Characters)


Boss: 'Beware of 50-50-90 rule!'
Employee: 'What do you mean Sir?'
Boss: 'Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is 90% probability that you will get it wrong!'
in Funny Jokes (232 Characters)


When you have done wrong and you are in trouble, go to your parents for a Sound Advice,
U'll get,
99% Sound 1% Advice... ;-P
in Funny Jokes (186 Characters)


Boy to girl before exam: Hey all d best

Girl: All da best to u too
But girl scored 80 marks & boy failed


Moral: Only boys wish with true heart.. ;-)
in Funny Jokes (204 Characters)


During a visit to a mental hospital, a medical student asked the Doctor, 'How do u determine whether or not, a patient should be admitted?'

'Well',said the Doctor,'We fill a bathtub, then we give a teaspoon,a teacup & a bucket to the patient n ask him to empty the bathtub.'

The student said,'Oh, a normal person wud use the bucket cz its bigger.'

'No,'said the Doctor,'A n0rmal person wud pull the drain plug.Now, which bed do u want??' ;)
in Funny Jokes (489 Characters)


A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control and stopped inches from a shop window.
The driver shouted, 'You scared the hell out of me!'
The passenger apologized and said, 'I didn't realize a little tap would scare you so much.'
The driver replied, 'Sorry, actually today is my first day as a cab driver, I was a funeral car driver for the last 25 years.'
in Funny Jokes (463 Characters)


Fairy(to a 62 year old couple): I will grant you each a wish.

Wife: I want to travel around the world with my husband.

The fairy waved her magic wand & 'POOF'

Two tickets appeared in her hands.

Husband: I wish to have a wife 30 years younger to me.

The fairy waved her magic wand & 'POOF'

The husband became 92 years old.

Men who are ungrateful idiots should remember that fairies are females.
in Funny Jokes (452 Characters)


After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 meters and the headlines in the US papers read: ?US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians?.

One week later, Pakistani daily newspapers reported the following: ?After digging as deep as 500 meters, Pakistani scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using Bluetooth and Wireless technology.
in Funny Jokes (860 Characters)


Teacher: Give Me Sentence With a Direct Object.

Student: Every one Thinks You Are The Best Teacher.

Teacher: Than,
But What is The Object?

Student: To Get Good Marks! :-)
in Funny Jokes (219 Characters)


Old concept: 'Do or die '
New concept: 'Do before u die '
Latest concept: 'Dont die until u do '
Our concept:
'WHAT TO DO!?!?!'
in Funny Jokes (172 Characters)


An elderly gentleman was invited by an old frnd 4 dinner. He was impressed by the way his buddy talked 2 his wife with lovely words like Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart,etc.
The couple had been married for 60 years & clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in the kitchen, the man asked his frind, 'I think it's wonderful that after all these years you still call your wife those loving pet names.'
The old man hung his head,'I have to tell you the truth,'he said,'her name slipped my mind about 10 yrs ago and i m scared to death to ask what it is.
in Funny Jokes (623 Characters)


Hi' Need 1 girl 2 marry . . .
Age no bar,
Color no bar,
Height no bar,
Caste no bar,
But girl's father must hv his own bar.-. Cheers.
in Funny Jokes (178 Characters)


A Popular Motivational §peaker §aid 'The ßest ¥ears Θf My Life Were §pent In The Arms Θf A Woman Who Wasn't My Wife!'

The Audience Was In §ilence & §hock.. The §peaker Added 'And That Woman Was My Mother!'

Laughter & Applause!

A Top Manager Trained ßy Him Tried To Çopy This At Home After A ¡)rink. He §aid Loudly To His Wife Who Was Preparing ¡)inner, 'The Greatest ¥ears Θf My Life Were §pent In The Arms Θf A Woman Who Wasn't My Wife!'

§tanding There For 20 §ec Trying To Recall The §econd Half Θf The Joke, He Finally ßlurted Θut 'And I Çan't Remember Who §he Was!'

ßy The Time The Manager Regained His Çonsciousness, He Was In A Hospital & ßed Nurses Were Trying To Recover Him From ßurns Θf ßoiling Water

Moral: ¡)on't Çopy If U Can't Paste !
in Funny Jokes (835 Characters)


Corporate Lessons

'We w¡ll do ¡t'
'U w¡ll do ¡t.'

'U have done a great job'
'More work w¡ll be g¡ven to u'

'We r a team'
'¡'m not the only one to be blamed'

'That ¡s a good quest¡on'
'¡ do not know anyth¡ng abt ¡t'

'All the best'
'U r ¡n trouble'
in Funny Jokes (326 Characters)


Soldier 2 General: Sir a small enemy group is attacking

General: Quick bring me my red shirt

After enemy defeated..

Soldier: sir why the red shirt?

General: In red shirt if i got shot my soldiers would not see my blood so they wont be discouraged

Soldier: sir 100 enemy tanks are attacking

General: Get me my yellow pant..
in Funny Jokes (377 Characters)


A new vaccum salesman knockd on da door. A tall lady answerd it.

B4 she cud speak, d salesman barged into da living room n emptied a bag of cow shit on2 da carpet..

Salesman: 'Madam, if i cudnt clean this up with my new powerful vaccum cleaner, i'll EAT all this Shit !'

Lady:'Do u need chilli sauce or ketchup wid dat?'
Salesman: 'Y madam?'

Lady:'Cuz therez no electricty in da house.'

MORAL: Gather ALL resources b4 working on any project... =P ;->
in Funny Jokes (504 Characters)

Displaying Page 1 (of 21) and 20 Records (of 410 Total Records)