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Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes
SMSTongue offers a large collection of Funny Quotes. The compliation includes good quality Funny Quotes submitted by users. Browse through our nice collection of Funny Quotes repository with latest and new Funny Quotes being added daily. You will find unqiue messages which you can share, rate and review with your friends. Also, you can send these messages using your mobile phone.
Displaying Page 1 (of 44) and 20 Records (of 865 Total Records)
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70
Ive learned that life is like a (110 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (10 Impressions)
I''ve learned ... that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
added by smsguru

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30
It is a scientific fact that your body (110 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (16 Impressions)
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
added by smsguru

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10
Ive always wanted to go to Switzerland (92 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (13 Impressions)
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
added by smsguru

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0
A friend doesnt go on a diet because (50 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (171 Impressions)
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
added by smsguru

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0
A government that robs Peter to pay (82 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (174 Impressions)
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
added by smsguru

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0
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with (55 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (177 Impressions)
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
added by smsguru

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0
A James Cagney love scene is one where (66 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (183 Impressions)
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
added by smsguru

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0
A judge is a law student who marks his (62 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (177 Impressions)
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
added by smsguru

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0
A lot of people are afraid of heights (68 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (181 Impressions)
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
added by smsguru

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0
Airplanes may kill you but they aint (58 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (182 Impressions)
Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.
added by smsguru

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0
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead (44 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (188 Impressions)
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
added by smsguru

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0
All right everyone line up (68 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (183 Impressions)
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
added by smsguru

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0
Always end the name of your child with (90 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (175 Impressions)
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
added by smsguru

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0
Anyone who says he can see through (58 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (171 Impressions)
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
added by smsguru

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0
As I get older I just prefer to knit (38 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (198 Impressions)
As I get older, I just prefer to knit.
added by smsguru

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0
Be able to go shopping for a bathing (77 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (172 Impressions)
Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.
added by smsguru

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0
Brought up to respect the conventions (86 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (168 Impressions)
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
added by smsguru

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0
By trying we can easily endure (64 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (163 Impressions)
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
added by smsguru

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0
California is a fine place to live if (67 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (176 Impressions)
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
added by smsguru

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0
Cleanliness becomes more important when (62 Characters)
in Funny Quotes (178 Impressions)
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
added by smsguru

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Displaying Page 1 (of 44) and 20 Records (of 865 Total Records)
First Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 Next Last