Sachin's Son: Mom! look here dad hitting sixers all the way. Mom: Son! that is boost advertisement.
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Q. What is the height of optimism? A. An English batsman putting on sunscreen.
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Q. Why don't English fielders need pre tour travel injections? A. Because they never catch anything.
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Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Sehwag? A. The walk back to the pavilion.
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Q. Why are Indian batsmen looking forward to the new millennium? A. So they can at least say they passed a century.
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Shoaib Akthar sent his thunderbolts whizzing past Ganguly and the wicket-keeper for boundary byes from every ball of his opening over. The captain Shoaib Malik said, 'I think I'll rest you for a while.' 'You can't do that,' said Akthar. 'I've just bowled a maiden over. 'Women like that are a luxury I can't afford at the moment, Shoaib,' acidly replied the other Shoaib.
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Rahul 'The Wall' Dravid had been at the crease for two hours and had scored one run. Rival team players were getting impatient, and so was the non-striker batsman. It finally got too much for the umpire as well. He raised his finger and said: 'Out'. 'What for?' said the batsman puzzled. 'Delaying the match with intent,' answered the angry umpire.
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India's one-time dashing batsman, Sehwag had a high opinion of himself and was very free with his advice to the captain, Dhoni. 'You know,' he said, 'You've picked two men who should never be in the side.' 'Oh really,' said the captain icily, 'and who's the other one?'
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The ever nervous Ganguly was having a terrible time facing Akthar and was lucky to still be at the crease. During a lull, he stammered to the wicket keeper, 'Well, I expect you've seen worse players.' Silence.... Ganguly repeats 'I said I expect you've seen worse players.' 'I heard you the first time. I was just trying to think.' replies the Wicket keeper.
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Q : Why Mhd.kaif wasn't get any chance eventhough having enough potential ? A : Because he is from Luck 'no'
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'I'm very nervous about my first game for this team.' says a young cricketer. 'Why?' 'Well, they might all be great players.' 'Don't worry. If they were any good, they wouldn't be playing with you!'
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Ek bandar ka bacha apni maan say:
maa main itna badsurat kyon hoon
maa: beta khuda ka shukar karo aur,
usay dheko jo message pardh raha hai
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Aa dil.e. Bulbul to kis sa shakh par ja bathi. . . . . . . Na ghar apne na bag apne to kis se dil laga bathi.
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Full form of MATHS!
Ans : Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students!
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Why women love gold more than men? Because gold has 24 carrot whereas man has only one carrot.
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CIRCUIT
Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI
Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT
Nehi Bhai, woh apni chain pechan lega
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A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looks around the shop and says, 'About two hours.' The guy leaves.
A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, 'How long before I get a haircut?' The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, 'About two hours.' The guy leaves.
A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looks around the shop an says, 'About an hour and half.' The guy leaves.
The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, 'Hey Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes.'
In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop laughing hysterically.
The barber asks, 'Bill, where did he go when he left here?'
Bill looked up and said, 'To your house.'
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Ek pal ehsaas ban key aate hoh, Aur doosre pal khwaab ban ke udd jaatey hoh, Yeh maloom hai ki tanhai sey darr hai humey, Phir bhi baar baar tanha chod jaatey hoh....
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Aankhein Khuli Hoh Toh Chehra Aapka Hoh, Aankhein Bandh Hoh Toh Sapnaa Aapka Hoh, Humey Maut Ka Na Darr Na Khauff Hoga, Agar Kafan Ki Jagah Dupatta Aapka Hoh.
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Hamari yaad me wo bhi kabhi khoye honge, Khuli aankhon se wo bhi kabhi soye honge, Mana ke muskurana andaaz hai gam chupane ka, Magar hanste hanste wo bhi kabhi roye honge-
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